My stockings are hung with care, but things are too quiet — all through the house. I’m bored with sugarplums and all the other typical holiday fare. So, I think I’ll scrounge through everything in my kitchen cabinets and create a new recipe. (Hey, it beats standing out there with Jack Frost nipping at your nose.) Lend me your ear as I blend football with Christmas memes. Yes, I'll be mixing metaphors — just for the heck of it — and hoping the results taste ok. I might even roast some NFL teams over an open fire. 
 
Here we go. Dressed as the Spirit of Christmas Future, I will now look into my crystal ball — or is it a snow globe?
 
Thursday: On a frigid night, I see Jets in the Eastern skies, flying past Jaguars and hoping to close in on Bills, Dolphins, and other beasts of the AFC wild.
 
Saturday: Oh my! It’s the nightmare before Christmas, haunting the Lions, Seahawks, and Saints, who look like ghosts in chains, jangling their slim playoff chances. I also see Dak and the Boyz firing lasers from their eyes, causing tears in the eyes of the Eagles (they are missing Jalen — and that really Hurts.) 
 
S. A. Tur. Day. Night: Hey, are they having a ball up there in Whoville? No! The little Whos would love to keep dancing to rock and roll, but . . . you’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch, waiting 50 years to Raid Whoville and get revenge . . . for the Immaculate Reception. 
 
Sunday Morning: Scrooges treat Christmas as just another workday. I see Ebenezer Aaron not opening packages but busy packing fish in cans of saltwater. In Mr. Rodgers’ neighborhood, they’ll do anything in their desperate attempt to deliver playoffs.
 
Sunday Afternoon: Speaking of playoffs, the Rams have been frozen out, but there is some comfort and joy as they bake in their cozy L.A. kitchen. I see a tasty holiday cake, hot from the oven, served up with a scoop of Mayfield. Baker and the Lambs are safe within the fold, not out there in the cold. That’s a much happier Christmas than busting Broncos in snow piled a mile high. 

Ok, I’m fresh out of spicy ingredients. Here are all the Week 16 matches — and my picks. Last week, my picks went 8-8.
 
1.     Jaguars            at Jets              Jets                TNF
2.     Falcons            at Ravens        Falcons             Sat
3.     Lions                at Panthers     Panthers           Sat
4.     Bills                 at Bears           Bills                 Sat
5.     Saints              at Browns        Browns            Sat
6.     Seahawks        at Chiefs          Chiefs              Sat
7.     Giants             at Vikings        Vikings             Sat
8.     Bengals            at Patriots       Bengals            Sat
9.     Texans             at Titans          Titans              Sat
10.  Commanders     at 49ers           49ers              Sat
11.  Eagles               at Cowboys     Cowboys           Sat
12.  Raiders              at Steelers      Raiders            Sat
13.  Packers             at Dolphins      Packers           
14.  Broncos             at Rams          Rams              
15.  Bucs                 at Cardinals     Bucs                SNF
16.  Chargers           at Colts           Colts                MNF

If all that didn't make you hungry, don't worry, I’ll get you before the new year. Have a seasoned weekend, and stay warm!