Yesterday, the Twitter board approved Elon Musk's $44 billion offer to take over the company. There are a myriad of different emotions circulating throughout the internet all connected to some sort of delirium. Many have claimed that this will spark the end of Twitter, while others are declaring it a renaissance of the platform; however, I am more concerned with what Elon can do for me. 

In August of 2014, I decided to propel myself to stardom through the medium of Twitter. Since then, I have garnered 19 followers and tweeted 84 glorious times. With each tweet, I envisioned inspiring the world with vitally important insights, such as the time I live-tweeted a South African water polo match, giving them the moniker: the South African Water Buffaloes. 

Despite this crucially significant content, my Twitter account has failed to gain traction, obviously due to censorship from the overlords at Twitter. The "established media" cannot handle an outsider shouting at the world that "[the] 2006 NCAA soundtrack is the best of all time," or going on a campaign to "[bring] the spork back." My ideas seemed too dangerous. 

Thankfully, Elon Musk has promised to promote accounts like mine, which illuminate truth without fear of retribution. The notorious account, @HuntsThoughts will no longer starve in the darkness. It will thrive, as Elon Musk will personally save me from obscurity. No longer will the world have to suffer from not knowing that "Mike Myer's Cat in the Hat is the most terrifying movie of all time." The world will blossom, and the internet will become a safe and loving place, as its thirst for my unedited thoughts and quandaries will be quelled. 

No matter your thoughts on Elon Musk's buyout of Twitter, you can rest assured that @Huntthoughts will continue its fight to expose the truth in the world, or at least give you a soft chuckle.